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Joke of the Day


April 17, 2014
Q: The average person spends 34 minutes a day on Monday doing this, and 17 minutes every other day of the week. What is it?
A: Complaining

April 16, 2014
Q: This happens on Fridays more than on any other day of the week.
A: Traffic accidents

April 15, 2014
Q: Just under half of parents admit they still do this for their adult kids. What is it?
A: Pay their cell phone bill

April 11, 2014
Q: 1 in 4 people have done this online. What?
A: googled their own name

April 10, 2014
Q: The average life expectancy of one of THESE is 50 years. What is it?
A: Toilet

April 9, 2014
Q: We spend $50 billion a year on this. What?
A: Diet Programs

April 8, 2014
Q: 10% of cars have THIS in common.
A: The check engine lights are always on

April 7, 2014
Q: The average man will spend 140 days of his life doing this.
A: Shaving

April 7, 2014
Q: 4 out of 10 employees worry most about THIS.
A: someone looking at their internet browsing history

April 3, 2014
Q: Women say THIS is the most annoying thing men can wear. What is it?
A: Black tube socks

April 2, 2014
Q: Sales of this drink have fallen by about 40% over the last 20 years. What drink?
A: Orange Juice

April 1, 2014
Q: What's the 3rd most common thing found in the car glove box?
A: Ketchup Packets

March 31, 2014
Q: If you own one of these, this will happen to you on average 3 times per week. What is it?
A: Your computer freezes!

March 28, 2014
Q: The Average person has 7 of these. What are they?
A: Passwords.

March 27, 2014
Q: Based on employee health, happiness, and stress levels, researchers named this job "the unhappiest profession". What was it?
A: Bus driver

March 26, 2014
Q: 21% of people have misplaced their cell phone and then found it here. Where was it?
A: The laundry basket

March 25, 2014
Q: The average American has 13 of these; the average Canadian has twice as many. What?
A: vacation days

March 21, 2014
Q: When a teenage girl needs one of these, she'll consider over 20 of them before making her mind up. What is it?
A: a prom dress

March 20, 2014
Q: 34% of people have made this fashion faux paus at work.
A: wore the price tag still attached to their clothes

March 19, 2014
Q: The average person spends $40 on these and usually looses them. What are they?
A: sunglasses

March 18, 2014
Q: 1.3% of those surveyed say they eat 15 or more of THESE a month.
A: Hamburgers

March 17, 2014
Q: 85% of people say their relationship would be better if their partner stopped doing this.
A: Snoring

March 14, 2014
Q: 7 out of 10 people who own these, talk to them.
A: Their vehicle

March 13, 2014
Q: This is the most ordered dessert item.
A: Cheesecake

March 12, 2014
Q: Women are twice as likely to do this than men.
A: Worry about things

March 11, 2014
Q: THIS thing has about 280 kinds of bacteria on it.
A: Your steering wheel

March 10, 2014
Q: The average person will receive 965 of these in their life.
A: Paychecks

March 7, 2014
Q: Only 15% of us are able to do THIS on a daily basis. What is it?
A: wake up without an alarm

March 6, 2014
Q: More than half of women admit they never, ever clean THIS.
A: Their Purse

March 5, 2014
Q: Men are twice as likely as women to do this on the job. What is it?
A: come in to work sick

March 4, 2014
Q: Other than scratching it, what is a highly effective way to stop an itch?
A: Look in a mirror and scratch the opposite side of your body, tricking your brain

February 28, 2014
Q: People who spend 6 hours a day doing this, live about 5 years less than people who don't do it at all, what is it?
A: Watch tv

February 27, 2014
Q: Americans eat 18 acres of THIS each day. What is it?
A: Pizza

February 26, 2014
Q: Nearly a quarter of people who don't do THIS in the morning, feel guilty about it throughout the day.
A: Make the bed

February 25, 2014
Q: The average one of THESE will travel 30,000 miles in its lifetime.
A: a grocery cart

February 24, 2014
Q: 10% of us say THIS has made us cry in the last year. What is it?
A: Traffic

February 20, 2014
Q: The average one of these lasts about 4 and 1/2 years. What is it?
A: a job

February 19, 2014
Q: When asked why their last diet failed, about 10% of women blamed it on this. What is it?
A: cold weather

February 12, 2014
Q: The more education you have, the bigger THIS is... What is it?
A: your signature

February 11, 2014
Q: What is the most spelled grocery list item?
A: Mayonnaise

February 10, 2014
Q: Its estimated that married people do this twice as much as single people. What is it?
A: apologize

February 5, 2014
Q: After doing this, about 70% of us entertain getting a different job. What is it?
A: after going on vacation

February 3, 2014
Q: If your child does this in the morning before school, chances are they'll have better focus in the classroom. What is it?
A: walk to school

January 29, 2014
Q: It takes women on average longer to do this than men. What is it?
A: ordering from a menu

January 28, 2014
Q: 4 out of 10 of us worry most about THIS at work.
A: Someone looking at their internet browsing history

January 27, 2014
Q: 15% of people say THIS is the most awkward moment during a first date. What is it?
A: When the dinner bill arrives

January 24, 2014
Q: Upwards of 100 different sounds can come from this. What is it?
A: a cat

January 22, 2014
Q: Just over a quarter of women say this is a great confidence booster. What is it?
A: red lipstick

January 21, 2014
Q: When it comes to being rude at work 75% of people say THIS is the rudest thing you can do on the job. What is it?
A: cursing

January 16, 2014
Q: Although it's commonly expected in the workplace, 4 out of 10 employees won't do this at work today. What is it?
A: Take a lunch break

January 15, 2014
Q: 72% of women said their fondest teenage memory is of this. What is it?
A: Their first car

January 14, 2014
Q: According to a recent survey, this is the number one thing that puts a person in a bad mood in the morning. What is it?
A: Spilling something on yourself

January 13, 2014
Q: 20% of drivers broke this law last year. What was it?
A: parked in a handicap space

January 10, 2014
Q: On average, we have $56 worth of these in our homes. What is it?
A: coins

January 9, 2014
Q: Women carry a lot of unusual things in their purses. A recent survey shows that 8% of women have put this in their purse.
A: a pet

January 8, 2014
Q: 37% of adults say THIS is a good way to get out of a bad mood. What is it?
A: Shopping

January 7, 2014
Q: 44% of men have made a fool of themselves trying to do this in front of a woman. What is it?
A: open a bottle of wine or champagne

January 6, 2014
Q: 16% of women have demanded their man do this. What is it?
A: pluck his eyebrows

January 2, 2014
Q: Over 40% of women say they always do this:
A: Tip their waiter or waitress

December 24, 2013
Q: 1 in 10 of us actually have one of these set up to help with Christmas. What is it?
A: Christmas savings account

December 23, 2013
Q: Almost 1/3 of us will do this at some point during the Holiday Season:
A: Go to the Post Office!

December 20, 2013
Q: 1 in 5 men are comfortable enough to do this after only 3 months in a relationship. What is it?
A: share a toothbrush

December 19, 2013
Q: Just about every home has one of these, only about a third of them are in working order. What?
A: flashlights

December 16, 2013
Q: The airplane, the internet, the telephone and the zipper all have this in common. What is it?
A: They are all American Inventions

December 13, 2013
Q: Experts list this as one of the top ways business women can help their careers. What is it?
A: taking up a game of golf

December 11, 2013
Q: Its disposable, but two-thirds of us admit we re-use it.
A: tea bags

December 9, 2013
Q: 33% of married women say this is the hardest thing they have to get their husband to do. What is it?
A: go to the doctor

December 6, 2013
Q: A recent university study found couples who have THIS are more likely to have happier marriages. What is it?
A: siblings

December 5, 2013
Q: 50 years ago, the average person over age 65 had seven of these. Today, the average person over 65 has 17 of these. What is it?
A: teeth

December 3, 2013
Q: About 40% of travelers want these banned from airplanes. What are they?
A: reclining seats

December 2, 2013
Q: It's estimated that this was the reason for 4 out of 10 firings in the workplace last year. What is it?
A: Cursing

November 29, 2013
Q: During a 4-year study, 43% of all patients who saw a doctor, went for this condition. It was the highest percentage for any medical condition. What was it?
A: Skin disorders

November 27, 2013
Q: What's the most popular household item on ebay?
A: a foot massager

November 26, 2013
Q: Most people consider this essential, but 12% of people don't have one in their home. What is it?
A: an alarm clock

November 25, 2013
Q: 10% of people working today will do this:
A: Carpool!

November 22, 2013
Q: The average person does this over 30 times a day:
A: Touches their face!

November 21, 2013
Q: 12% of us don't use this after we get it:
A: A prescription!

November 20, 2013
Q: If you did this for 2 weeks straight, you would lose a pound:
A: Chew gum!

November 19, 2013
Q: Women are responsible for 37% of these:
A: Speeding tickets!

November 18, 2013
Q: 56% of men get someone else to do this for them:
A: Pack their suitcase!

November 15, 2013
Q: If you are an adult, you have about a one in ten chance of this happening to you in 2013. What is it?
A: Being pulled over by police

November 14, 2013
Q: When it comes to facebook we talk about food more than any other subject... What is the second most talked about topic?
A: working out/gym

November 13, 2013
Q: 31% of office workers listed this as their favourite reason for going to work. What is it?
A: office gossip

November 12, 2013
Q: In a recent survey, people picked this as THE most annoying habit. What is it?
A: chewing ice

November 7, 2013
Q: According to a recent survey, what's the most common nickname people give their car?
A: Baby

November 5, 2013
Q: A survey asked, what is the first thing you do every morning? The top 3 answers were 1. Use the washroom 2. start coffee and what was 3?
A: Look Outside

November 4, 2013
Q: The most likely items to be outdated in your kitchen are spices, followed by what?
A: canned soup

November 1, 2013
Q: We eat three times as much of this as we did in the 1970's
A: Cheese

October 31, 2013
Q: About one-third of people surveyed said this is the worst thing to eat while driving. What is it?
A: a salad

October 30, 2013
Q: In the average workplace, you'll find more germs on this handle than on the toilet handle. What handle is that?
A: The coffee pot handle

October 29, 2013
Q: 30 Years ago, 75% of North American homes had one of these. Today, about 3 % do. What is it?
A: popcorn maker

October 28, 2013
Q: It's estimated that 80% of us do this every night at dinner. What is it?
A: Sit in the same place

October 25, 2013
Q: What will take you on average more than 8 seconds longer to do than it did a year ago?
A: Go through a fast food drive-thru line

October 24, 2013
Q: More of THIS is sold on Sunday than any other day of the week. What is it?
A: Ice cream

October 23, 2013
Q: In a recent survey almost 75% of people will spend hours searching for THIS online.
A: Info about their exes

October 22, 2013
Q: Over 400,000 people can say they crashed their cars because they were distracted by this.
A: Christmas Lights

October 21, 2013
Q: Men do this on average once every 18 days. What is it?
A: Wash their bath towel

October 17, 2013
Q: A recent survey shows that men generally don't like shopping....but men especially don't like shopping for this.... What is it?
A: Furniture

October 16, 2013
Q: Twenty years ago, the average person did this 40 times a year. Today that number has fallen below 20. What is it?
A: Send a christmas card

October 15, 2013
Q: Research says that people in this profession get the most headaches. What profession?
A: Accountants

October 11, 2013
Q: If you're an average 45-year-old, you have owned approximately 1,350 of these. What?
A: Pairs of socks

October 9, 2013
Q: 70% if Americans have something in common what is it?
A: Taking at least one prescription medication.

October 8, 2013
Q: 40% of men can't tell you this about their significant other. What is it?
A: Their shoe size

October 7, 2013
Q: 56% of the people in the world have ONE right now. What?
A: An untreated cavity in their teeth.

October 4, 2013
Q: Researchers say you consume two of these a year. What is it?
A: Bottles worth of ketchup

October 3, 2013
Q: While it was invented in 1498, something that most of us use everyday, wasn't routine until WW2. What was it?
A: The toothbrush

October 2, 2013
Q: Most of us have done it a few times, but right now, at this very moment, there are 370,000 people doing it. What?
A: Sitting on an airplane

October 1, 2013
Q: Up to 75% of us have something in common, and we're not aware of what it really is. What is it?
A: we are dehydrated

September 30, 2013
Q: You will do this on average 154 times per week. What?
A: open a refrigerator

September 27, 2013
Q: Dream researchers say THIS is the #1 thing moms dream about. What is it?
A: Winning the lottery

September 26, 2013
Q: You will do this 12,410 times on average in a year. What?
A: Look at your cell phone

September 25, 2013
Q: The average woman spends 17 minutes a day doing what?
A: Texting

September 20, 2013
Q: Email is the #1 use of the internet. What is #2?
A: Search

September 19, 2013
Q: More than half of moms say if they did this, they would be better moms. What?
A: Get more sleep

September 18, 2013
Q: 62% of homeowners say they have never done this. What is it?
A: Watered their lawn

September 17, 2013
Q: 25% of women have these at home, but don't use them. What ?
A: clothes that don't fit

September 16, 2013
Q: If you use it at all, you use it for about 55 minutes a day. What?
A: Facebook

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